Season 6, Episode 3: Working with Eating Disorders with Margo White
We are thrilled to interview Margo White on working with eating disorders in the neurodivergent population.
Margo is an accredited clinical nutritionist, a proudly neurodivergent AuDHDer, mother of two and founder of Whole Body Nutrition.
Margo helps neurodivergent folk of all ages, genders and backgrounds to cultivate an emotionally healthy relationship with food—a relationship that understands and accepts that there are different ways of eating and that validates all sensory feeding differences. Margo draws from a neuro-affirming, trauma-informed, and lived experience lens.
In this episode, we cover:
Margo’s own path to discovering her neurodivergence and how this was integral to developing her current clinical focus
Margo’s work as a clinical nutritionist
Eating and nutritional concerns in neurodivergent folk in their relationship to food and eating
Sensory processing differences, executive functioning challenges, interoception, and Alexithymia
Burnout and eating for comfort
Common eating disorder diagnoses in the neurodivergent population: ARFID, anorexia and binge eating disorder
How to advocate for atypical eating behaviours (tips for parents facing judgment, and adults, too!)
Then, we close out with a few more tips and resources from Margo
[00:01:11] Margo’s own path to discovering her neurodivergence and how this was integral to developing her current clinical focus
Key Takeaways:
As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent person, Margo reflects on how she always felt different and struggled to fit in throughout her whole life.
High-masking and people-pleasing were ways she hid her neurodivergence.
She often wondered why tasks that seemed easy for others felt so difficult for her.
Seeing parallels between her child’s experience and her own led her to seek an AuDHD diagnosis, but it took months to fully accept and feel at peace with it.
Margo recalls the emotional process of coming to terms with her neurodivergence, initially struggling with internalised ableism, imposter syndrome, and low self-esteem.
When Margo felt uncertain about her identity, her sister encouraged her to immerse herself in Autistic identity by following Autistic voices and communities, which was pivotal in her journey.
Listening to podcasts like The Neurodivergent Woman Podcast and specific episodes on Getting a Diagnosis and Neurodivergence and Disordered Eating with Annie Crowe helped her feel validated and supported.
Embracing her neurodivergence reshaped Margo’s entire life, especially her career, allowing her to focus her business in a way that aligned with her true self.
[00:06:44] Margo’s work as a clinical nutritionist
Key Takeaways:
Margo reflects on the early days of her business, Whole Body Nutrition, noting that before she understood her neurodivergence, she didn’t have a specific niche and felt stagnant in her work. While she enjoyed it to some extent, it often felt hard and unfulfilling.
As she worked with clients, Margo noticed many had food trauma and shame around their eating habits, leading her to question the ableist, neuro-normative, and diet-culture-driven ideas taught at uni about health and wellness.
Margo realised that these conventional ideas of “health” weren’t achievable for many, particularly neurodivergent people. Over time, she became increasingly uncomfortable with these beliefs, both personally and professionally, as they no longer aligned with her values.
Margo’s diagnosis pushed her to reflect deeply on her career and personal relationship with food, which gave her the clarity to reevaluate her path.
A pivotal moment in her journey was discovering Noreen Hanani from RDs for Neurodiversity. Margo credits Hanani's work with sparking a mindset change that felt validating, particularly in relation to her experiences with food and a history of an eating disorder.
Margo highlights how common it is for neurodivergent people to have complex relationships with food, often being unfairly labelled as “picky” or “fussy” for trying to meet their sensory needs, which can result in trauma and internalised shame.
Understanding the intrinsic link between neurodivergence and food habits is crucial. Without this awareness, people can remain trapped in shame and trauma, negatively affecting their mental health, self-image, and relationships.
Women across generations, outside of neurodivergence, need to unlearn the belief that "food is the enemy," a mindset many were raised with, where enjoying certain foods was essentially tied to their moral character.
For neurodivergent individuals, there's an additional layer of complexity on top of societal food narratives, adding to the challenge of developing a healthy relationship with eating.
Historically, many women with Autism and ADHD, particularly those seeking help for eating disorders, have gone undiagnosed and unsupported. As awareness grows, it's becoming evident that a significant number of individuals presenting with eating disorders are neurodivergent.
Unfortunately, much of the care provided has been based on neurotypical assumptions, neglecting the individual's neurotype and making it difficult for them to receive appropriate support.
Supporting a neurodivergent person with an eating disorder using traditional methods—whether or not they've actually been identified as neurodivergent—can cause harm.
With 20 to 40 percent of adults with eating disorders also being neurodivergent, it’s crucial to recognise this connection and adapt care accordingly.
“Not knowing if someone is neurodivergent or supporting someone who’s neurodivergent who has an eating disorder, we can’t do it in the traditional way because it does cause harm. And it’s something like 20 to 40 percent of adults with eating disorders are also neurodivergent. So the statistics are high. ”
[00:14:47] Eating and nutritional concerns in your neurodivergent folk in their relationship to food and eating
Key Takeaways:
Margo touches on a few key eating and nutritional concerns that she sees often with her neurodivergent clients:
Decreased variety in food intake for neurodivergent people can lead to nutritional deficiencies in certain vitamins, minerals, and macronutrients, though it doesn’t happen in all cases. Functional testing and supplements can help address these deficiencies without shame.
Meal planning and cooking often feel overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals, making it difficult to access the necessary nutrition.
Eating in social settings or outside the home, can be challenging, especially for children.
Some children may not eat during the day. Rather than forcing it, strategies can be implemented to ensure they get enough food overall.
Many parents worry their children aren’t “healthy” because of the foods they eat or don’t eat, which is understandable given societal and media pressures around what health “should” look like.
Parents’ concerns are always valid. However, Margo often sees how parental anxiety can worsen the situation for their children. So, she works with parents to challenge neuro-normative ideas around food and eating behaviours.
If nutrient deficiencies or malnourishment are suspected, Margo provides support, including supplements, when necessary.
“It’s not about just going, “No, you’re wrong.” It’s about validating the experience but also helping that parent to support their child in the best way possible. ”
Eating and nutritional concerns continued:
Gastrointestinal concerns frequently arise in neurodivergent individuals, including hypermobility, IBS, constipation, and loose stools, and, more generally, gut-brain axis issues, anxiety, and distress.
Low appetite and skipping meals are common issues among neurodivergent individuals, often caused by medication, interoception difficulties, or a challenging relationship with food.
Nutritional deficiencies can also affect appetite and the ability to eat, further complicating these concerns.
Neurodivergent individuals are particularly vulnerable to harmful messaging around food and nutrition, especially when it’s framed as a way to “cure” neurodivergence.
Margo expresses frustration at how frequently professionals tell clients that eliminating certain foods like gluten or dairy will “cure” their neurodivergence, calling out the damaging effects of healthism and ableism in these claims.
Flexibility and creativity in approach are key to supporting neurodivergent individuals, moving away from rigid, neurotypical ideals of health and diet.
Michelle raises the point that meeting someone where they are means asking, “What does a healthy life and healthy diet look like for you?” instead of adhering to one-size-fits-all standards.
Monique shares how many neurodivergent individuals, particularly Autistic adults, reflect on how sensory overload in school lunch areas prevented them from eating, with loud noises and strong smells being overwhelming.
Monique highlights this as an accessibility issue, with some people resorting to hiding in bathrooms or skipping meals altogether due to the lack of a safe, sensory-friendly environment.
Margo acknowledges the difficulty when well-meaning teachers, staff, or parents try to encourage eating when it's simply not possible for neurodivergent kids, especially those with ARFID, due to sensory overwhelm or specific food preferences.
Margo poses the question, “So how do we support this child to still feel their best without eating at school?” highlighting the importance of finding compassionate strategies to ensure a child's well-being, even when their sensory or dietary needs can't be met in typical school settings.
Parents must recognise that a child's refusal to eat certain foods is often due to sensory processing differences, not them “making it up,” and their capacity can vary from day to day.
“One other thing that really concerns me is that due to healthism and ableism, neurodivergent people are particularly vulnerable to food and nutrition messaging around healthy eating in relation to “curing” neurodivergence, which is just awful.
The amount of times I’ve had clients come to me and say, “Oh, my last nutritionist or dietitian or naturopath or whoever, doctor, told me that if I go off gluten and dairy, I’ll be cured,” I would be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me. It’s not true, and it makes me really angry.”
Michelle emphasises the importance of dispelling myths around food “curing” neurodivergence, stating clearly that you can't change someone's neurotype by avoiding foods like gluten.
Supporting proper nutrition will help neurodivergent individuals feel better and thrive, but it won't alter their neurotype; they’ll still be Autistic or ADHD, just a more supported, healthier, and thriving Autistic or ADHDer.
Monique humorously reflects on her upbringing in a strict “healthism” diet due to her parents’ bodybuilding background. Despite adhering to the “healthiest” diet, she and her family remained neurodivergent (sarcasm: shocking, right?).
Even after developing celiac disease and lactose intolerance as an adult, Monique emphasises that removing gluten and dairy didn’t alter her neurodivergence, but instead managed her medical conditions so she simply feels better.
With a lighthearted example, Monique illustrates this point by sharing how she threw away the people in a Lego greenhouse set to maintain her ideal, uncluttered scene, reinforcing that despite her “healthy” food upbringing, she’s still Autistic.
[00:26:02] Sensory processing differences, executive functioning challenges, interception difficulty, and Alexithymia
Key Takeaways:
Sensory processing differences, including hypersensitivity to taste, texture, smell, or even the appearance of food, are highly common among Autistic individuals. These sensitivities can significantly affect food choices and make introducing new foods challenging.
Executive functioning challenges, such as difficulties with planning, organising, shopping, preparing, following recipes, and cooking, can be particularly tough for some Autistic and ADHD individuals.
Addressing executive functioning challenges in cooking depends on the individual's needs.
For some, simple, broken-down instructions can help, while others benefit from visual aids, such as images showing how to cook.
Margo provides examples like Marley Spoon, which includes images to guide the cooking process, though the instructions themselves may not always be executive-function friendly.
She also adapts her approach for clients by creating handouts with ingredient pictures and simplified steps, tailored to their level of cooking experience.
Monique raises a point on recipe instructions and language. Autistic individuals often need recipe instructions to be clear and precise, but many cookbooks use unclear terms that can make the process confusing, especially without prior cooking experience or support from someone more skilled.
Cooking is a learned skill, and if family members or others haven’t passed down this knowledge, it can create a gap. Basic home economics may not be enough to fully equip individuals, particularly when the energy demands of daily life lead to burnout.
Preparing food is even more challenging for those managing full-time responsibilities or dealing with co-occurring conditions like chronic illness, as food prep can be physically and mentally draining.
Co-occurring conditions like dyspraxia or ADHD can add further roadblocks. These can affect multitasking while cooking, resulting in burnt food or frustration, which can lead to disheartenment and avoidance of cooking altogether.
Accidents in the kitchen, especially for those with dyspraxia, can lead to a fear of cooking, adding another layer of challenge for neurodivergent individuals.
Despite her love for food and cooking, Margo finds recipes stressful and difficult to follow, preferring to cook by feel and taste, which highlights the individualised approach to cooking based on personal strengths and preferences.
Having someone to support in the kitchen, whether by body-doubling or teaching the basics, can make a significant difference in building confidence and skills around food preparation.
Cooking terms, like “sauté,” can be confusing, especially if they come from other languages, underscoring the importance of clear, accessible language in recipe instructions.
Margo emphasises the close link between interoception and alexithymia, noting that those who struggle with interoception often face challenges with alexithymia as well.
Both involve difficulties in sensing and interpreting internal body signals, making it crucial to understand their connection.
Interoception involves the ability to sense and interpret internal body signals, such as hunger, thirst, body temperature, and pain, which are felt differently by each person.
Alexithymia, closely related to interoception, involves difficulty in recognising, identifying, and describing emotions. Sometimes, the intensity of emotions can be really big, and you can feel many different emotions at once but not really be sure what they are or how to articulate them.
These challenges can affect one’s ability to take care of basic needs, including food and nutrition, further highlighting the link between interoception, alexithymia, and disordered eating.
There is a clear link between interoception, alexithymia, and eating disorders or disordered eating.
Michelle points out that when someone struggles with interoception, they may feel discomfort but not be able to accurately categorise its source. For example, someone may lie awake feeling uncomfortable without realising the discomfort comes from needing to use the bathroom.
This disconnect can lead to unnecessary distress and also applies to hunger cues, where people may feel discomfort without recognising it’s related to hunger, further complicating their relationship with food and eating habits.
Margo explains that society often teaches us to recognise hunger as an empty or grumbling stomach, but for many neurodivergent people, hunger can manifest in entirely different ways, such as headaches, lightheadedness, or a dry throat.
This creates confusion for those who don’t feel hunger in the “expected” way, leading them to believe they aren’t hungry.
So, Margo emphasises the importance of exploring how hunger might feel for each individual: “How do you personally experience hunger?”
Monique highlights that some people may not recognise they’re hungry until they start feeling irritable, dysregulated, or angry—often referred to as being “hangry.” This delayed realisation of hunger can lead to emotional dysregulation and, in some cases, meltdowns, showing how hunger impacts mood and behaviour.
Margo suggests that those struggling with interoception aim to eat every two to four hours to avoid going the entire day without food, helping maintain regulation.
She acknowledges that reminders can help some, but may feel like a demand to others. In these cases, visual cues, such as having snacks visible at their desk, can be effective in encouraging regular eating.
“Definitely snacks at the desk are helpful. And then, I’ll often keep snacks in the car, snacks in my bag, snacks at work, snacks at home. Snacks everywhere. ”
Monique and Margo emphasise the importance of keeping snacks readily available—whether in the car, bag, or at home—to ensure regular eating, especially for those with interoception challenges.
For water intake, Monique suggests having a glass of water in every room, so that when you walk past, you’ll remember to drink some.
She also recommends finding a water bottle that you really like, whether it’s your favourite colour or connected to something you love, like a special interest, to make staying hydrated more motivating if you don't feel thirst cues.
Margo advises keeping safe foods and snacks you love around, as you're more likely to eat them if it doesn't feel like a chore.
She acknowledges that not everyone enjoys eating, which is so valid, but generally, choosing foods that bring joy can increase the likelihood of eating regularly.
Monique shares a strategy of using other people to cue eating or drinking. For example, when she feels hungry, it prompts her husband—who struggles with interoception and often forgets to eat due to ADHD—to eat as well.
She highlights how ADHD can also affect eating habits, where you might notice hunger but get distracted before preparing or finishing a meal, making it difficult to complete eating at times.
Margo suggests breaking away from the traditional mindset of needing to eat specific meals like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Specifically, those struggling with interoception or affected by medication, grazing throughout the day can be a helpful alternative, ensuring the body and brain stay energised and fuelled.
[00:41:41] Burnout and eating for comfort
Key Takeaways:
Burnout can severely impact one's ability to feed themselves, with some losing the capacity to complete even basic tasks like using a fork or spoon.
Eating becomes particularly challenging during burnout because it's something we must do several times a day, making it difficult to avoid despite the struggle.
For those who find eating boring or unmotivating, pairing it with something enjoyable, like a favourite book, music, or TV show, can help make the experience more engaging.
Monique shares that as a child, she would always read while eating, and even now, she prefers to have a distraction like a book or TV to avoid the boredom of eating.
Margo highlights that for many neurodivergent people, mindful eating can be anxiety-provoking and may even re-trigger or re-traumatise those with difficult relationships with food or histories of eating disorders.
She reassures that it's okay to eat with distractions, such as watching a show, reading, or listening to a podcast, as the priority is simply getting the food in.
The societal expectation of having meals at a table with conversation doesn't work for many neurodivergent people, and it's important to acknowledge that different approaches are valid.
“Because, as neurodivergent people, we do have difficult relationships with food or histories with eating disorders, that really mindful eating and paying attention to our food can, be really, really tough and anxiety-provoking, and it can also re-trigger and re-traumatise us and lead to not eating.
So, it is okay to eat with distraction and to be watching a show or reading a book or listening to a podcast or walking, etc. Whatever you need to do to get the food in is just so incredibly important. ”
Monique points out that combining eating with socialising can be challenging, especially for neurodivergent people who may struggle with executive functioning or sensory overload.
Multitasking while eating, such as making small talk or eating in busy environments, can drain energy and feel overwhelming, particularly for those already in burnout.
Monique advocates to normalise breaking down societal norms around meals, sharing that she and her husband often eat meals while on the couch on their phones or watching TV.
Margo encourages self-reflection, asking:
“Why am I actually doing this?
Is it right for me and my family?
Or, is it something society or my parents taught me that makes me feel uncomfortable?”
Assessing whether your habits serve personal needs or are shaped by external expectations.
Margo emphasises the importance of felt-safety with food, not only in terms of what we eat but also the environment in which we eat. Social eating can be challenging for neurodivergent people due to sensory overwhelm and societal pressures.
Eating for comfort or regulation is common and, as Margo emphasises, completely valid. It can be a helpful way to regulate emotions or stim.
However, she points out that not many people are aware of the opposite—avoiding food for comfort and regulation, which is equally valid, and can be particularly relevant for individuals with ARFID.
Michelle points out the shame many people feel around eating for comfort due to societal messaging that frames food as purely fuel for the body.
This pressure on all genders, especially on women, promotes the idea that eating for joy or comfort is immoral or reflects poorly on someone's character.
Michelle counters this by explaining the biological logic behind eating for comfort, noting that chewing signals the body to reduce stress by activating the digestive system and lowering cortisol levels.
She appreciates Margo's stance on comfort eating, emphasising its normalcy and importance.
The need for sameness, routine, and predictability with food is also common among neurodivergent individuals, often showing up as eating the same foods repeatedly or having specific rules around meals, such as eating at the same time each day.
Margo clarifies that while these habits may sometimes be mistaken for disordered eating, they are actually very normal Autistic ways of eating.
[00:49:20] Common eating disorder diagnoses in the neurodivergent population: ARFID, Anorexia and Binge Eating Disorder
Key takeaways:
Margo first gives us a little info dump on ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder):
ARFID is a multifaceted eating disorder that involves severe food avoidance or restriction, and it's far more complex than picky eating.
It affects people of all sizes, ages, and genders and doesn’t simply disappear with age.
ARFID can stem from a variety of factors, including anxiety, fear of food or eating, past trauma, sensory processing differences, societal and cultural pressures, or challenges with executive functioning.
ARFID is an eating disorder that often isn’t related to a fear of weight gain, although co-occurring body image concerns or other eating disorders can be present. It's essential to keep this in mind when supporting those with ARFID.
Common co-occurring diagnoses include Autism, generalised anxiety disorder, ADHD, OCD, and more.
It's estimated that up to 20 percent of Autistic individuals have ARFID.
ARFID has three subtypes—avoidant, restrictive, and aversive—and individuals can fit into one or multiple categories.
The avoidant subtype involves limiting food choices due to sensory sensitivities like taste, texture, smells, or visual aspects of food.
The restrictive subtype relates to low interest in food or eating, often due to low appetite or challenges with interoceptive awareness, where people forget to eat or get distracted.
The aversive subtype stems from trauma or fear-based experiences, such as fear of vomiting, choking, or allergic reactions.
Food trauma is common in individuals with ARFID, making it a significant focus in treatment.
“In clinic, I’m yet to see anyone who hasn’t experienced food trauma that has ARFID. So that is a huge part of the work. ”
Michelle notes how some clients with ARFID have been misdiagnosed with anorexia and subjected to force-feeding, either by medical professionals or well-meaning parents, which can ultimately be damaging.
Margo explains that children often experience food trauma due to well-meaning but damaging practices like force-feeding, which can happen through parents, feeding therapy, or school environments. Even minor instances of force-feeding can lead to ARFID and long-lasting trauma.
In supporting clients with ARFID, Margo prioritises:
neuro-affirming feeding practices that focus on creating felt-safety, both in food and the eating environment,
exploring and challenging internalised shame, neuro-normativity, and diet culture, helping to validate her clients’ experiences while focusing on what feels safest for them rather than adhering to neurotypical eating standards,
and an approach that’s entirely client-led and collaborative, avoiding food exposures unless the client feels ready.
Margo distinguishes ARFID from anorexia by noting that ARFID is generally not linked to concerns about body image or fear of weight gain but rather stems from food anxiety, trauma, sensory processing differences, or fears like choking or vomiting.
Anorexia, on the other hand, is characterised by an intense fear of weight gain, difficulty maintaining body weight, and negative body image.
However, in neurodivergent people, this fear may not always be tied to body image but rather to sensory overwhelm or needs relating to how they experience their bodies.
Michelle shares an alternative explanation for some neurodivergent individuals with anorexic presentations: the fear of weight gain isn’t necessarily tied to body image but rather a desire to avoid maturing into adulthood. These clients may express a feeling of not being ready to transition into the next stage of life, wanting to maintain a younger, childlike body instead of moving into adulthood.
Monique highlights that for Autistic people, discomfort with change can be a significant factor in the experience of anorexia. The body's natural changes over time can be challenging, and for some, the fear may not solely revolve around body image but also around the difficulty of adapting to physical changes.
Margo reflects on her own experience, sharing that her eating disorder developed during a time of significant change, serving as a protective mechanism.
When working with eating disorders, it's really important to flag for ARFID by going through the criteria and asking about early trauma related to food. This helps us determine whether it's ARFID or anorexia, as it can sometimes be difficult to tell. People of all different sizes, ages, and genders can develop both ARFID and anorexia, so we can’t make assumptions.
“It’s very important when working with eating disorders, or when we suspect one, to flag for ARFID. We do this by reviewing the different criteria and asking questions around trauma at a young age related to food. This might give us a greater understanding whether it’s actually ARFID or anorexia.”
Supporting individuals with ARFID involves helping them understand their relationship with food, identifying their triggers, and recognising their sensory profile if sensory issues are present.
For those whose ARFID stems from trauma, it's crucial to refer them to psychological support, which is essential for both ARFID and anorexia cases.
With anorexia, the process is different in that while trauma may be present, it's not necessarily tied to food.
It could stem from life feeling out of control, and the restriction of food becomes a way to regain that sense of control. However, it's more about creating safety and protection for oneself, less about control, like providing a focal point amidst chaos.
Margo reflects on her own experience, sharing that her eating disorder emerged during a time when she felt everything was out of control and rejected by the world.
Margo’s eating disorder stemmed from bullying in her younger years. Being in a bigger body led to rejection and pain, teaching her that it wasn’t safe to be in a bigger body.
Eating disorders often manifest later in life, as seen in Margo's experience. During her teen years, she felt uncomfortable and unsafe in her body, experiencing rejection because of her body type, which Margo expresses was a learnt behaviour. She wasn’t born feeling this way.
When Margo's life felt out of control after her family broke apart, she started restricting food to gain a sense of control. With weight loss came attention and validation, making her feel like being in a smaller body was better.
However, her mental health was poor, and she had many unmet needs. Restricting food helped her cope with the pain for a while, but without addressing the underlying trauma, the struggle remained unresolved.
Michelle summarises the meaning of ARFID and anorexia:
With ARFID, the issue is directly related to the relationship with food itself, often tied to sensory or trauma-based factors.
In contrast, anorexia involves using food as a "means to an end," where restricting food is a way to achieve the "ends you're wanting in that moment," tied to broader issues around self-worth or control.
“With ARFID, there’s a real fear of food. It’s not a choice. It’s a can’t. ”
Anorexia treatment, especially for neurodivergent individuals, can sometimes cause harm due to approaches like force-feeding, which can lead to additional trauma, potentially triggering ARFID. Various forms of trauma can trigger ARFID.
Monique raises the question of whether the lack of societal acceptance and peer validation, particularly during formative years, could increase the vulnerability for neurodivergent people, especially women, in developing anorexia.
She wonders if masking neurodivergence, along with body image and striving for physical acceptance, might also be a form of masking—an attempt to avoid criticism or bullying for being different or “weird.”
Margo shares how being bullied in primary school led her to mask as a protective mechanism. She wanted to be liked and accepted, which deeply impacted her self-esteem and sense of self. It wasn’t until she realised she was Autistic that she began to question, “What the hell is masking and who the hell am I?”
Monique emphasises how important getting a correct diagnosis is, whether Autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD, as part of the recovery and therapeutic process for both anorexia and ARFID.
Learning about her neurodivergence was key to Margo’s recovery, allowing her to develop self-compassion and understand her eating disorder as a protective mechanism. Margo also clarifies that she is not endorsing eating disorders.
While eating disorders are harmful, Michelle points out that it’s important to recognise that protective strategies, even with negative consequences, initially served a purpose. Acknowledging why something was useful for us is an important part of the healing journey.
“It’s important to acknowledge that we don’t do things for no reason. We do things because they help us in that moment with whatever unmet need or issue was going on in that moment. So, it’s really an important part of the healing journey to actually acknowledge why something was useful and important for us in a particular period of time.”
Binge eating disorder is marked by episodes of eating large amounts quickly, often leading to discomfort and feelings of loss of control, followed by shame, distress, and guilt.
Margo explains that binge eating differs from ARFID, as it typically lacks fear around food. It often involves a pattern of restriction, whether intentional or unintentional.
For example, someone on ADHD medication may not eat due to a suppressed appetite, but once the medication wears off, they may binge as their body demands fuel.
This can lead to binge eating disorder, with elements of trauma, dysregulation, and using food to self-soothe or comfort in times of nervous system distress.
Michelle shares a couple more triggers for binge eating disorder:
Among neurodivergent individuals, there can be dopamine-seeking behaviour, especially in ADHDers.
In some cases, someone with ARFID who has specific sensory needs around food might push through these needs due to healthism or societal pressure, only to end up binging on their comfort food later.
By restricting themselves from the food that feels safe or pleasurable, they reach a breaking point where they binge, often feeling out of control, discomfort, and shame as Margo described.
[01:11:45] How to advocate for atypical eating behaviours — tips for parents facing judgment, and adults, too!
“First of all, I just want to say that this is really, really tough to navigate and can be very distressing for parents and children. And so it’s important to acknowledge that advocating for yourself and your children can be really, really hard sometimes, but it is so important for our kids. It’s really important for them to know that we have their backs and that we radically accept all parts of them. ”
Key takeaways:
Margo’s tips:
Always prioritise your child's well-being over other people's opinions. Your primary responsibility is to support your child, not to meet societal expectations or avoid criticism.
Teach your children that their needs matter and that the way they eat is right for them, which is nothing to be ashamed of.
Validate your child's experience with food, as this will help them to build a peaceful relationship with food and help them to ignore some of those negative messages and comments.
Have a solid understanding of your child's neurodivergence and how it impacts their eating. This knowledge can then empower you to explain to other people what your child's needs are.
You can do this by providing family members, friends, and even medical professionals with resources and information about neurodivergence and your child's feeding differences or ARFID, whatever it is that's going on.
This can help them to understand your child's eating differences and may help to educate them to think about the way that they might speak to you or your child.
Set clear boundaries before events by speaking with family or friends. For example, you can implement a blanket rule that no one is allowed to comment on food.
Michelle loves this and adds: “Why should anyone comment on anyone else's eating behaviours? It's got nothing to do with you. Society would actually be much improved if every single person just took that opinion like, ‘Okay, we don't comment on other people's eating and food behaviours.’”
Prepare scripts that explain your child’s needs and challenges, which you can memorise ahead of time. These can be useful when speaking with medical professionals or addressing family members before an event.
Having your script ready can make advocating for your child more manageable, especially when emotions run high.
Even when you're feeling upset or frustrated by what someone said, advocating respectfully can often diffuse the situation. Responding calmly encourages others to stop and reflect rather than heighten the moment.
If comments around food make you feel unsettled or distressed, it's perfectly okay to leave the conversation or assertively tell people to mind their own business.
Reminder: A neurodivergent child or adult eating to meet sensory needs isn't being picky or fussy—they're simply addressing those needs. Using terms like "picky" or "fussy" carries negative connotations and doesn’t feel good.
Script ideas from Margo and Monique:
When someone comments on the food or the way that someone eats, or anything like that, you can say:
“My child has sensory sensitivities that affect their ability to eat certain foods. We're working with health professionals to ensure they get the nutrition they need in a way that's comfortable and safe for them. I know you mean well, but please don't comment on what my child eats. Thanks for understanding.”
If someone comes up to you at an event and they say, “Oh, your child, or you are such a fussy eater,” you might say:
“I appreciate your concern, but we're following a plan that works best for myself or for our child. And we'd prefer not to discuss their eating habits in this way. Thank you so much.”
Say you're getting criticised or whatever, like, “Oh, you're eating McDonald's again?”—you could respond with something like:
“Yes because I love it.”
“Yes, and?”
“Well, actually, I really enjoy eating this. It's delicious.”
“Well, I'm different to you and have different needs.” How can anyone argue with that?
Monique shares how healthism and social norms have led to criticism of her ordering too much Uber Eats and how she's had to educate her co-workers by explaining:
"Well, actually getting Uber Eats to work means that I am getting nutritious food, and I have disabilities and can't always prepare foods, and this is a disability accommodation. Why are you criticising this for me? That's actually not very compassionate of you to do that. It's not a convenience thing. It's actually a disability accommodation.”
[01:19:23] If anything Margo shared in this episode resonated with you, here are a few more top tips from Margo
Tips:
Please know that if you struggle with food and eating—whether you're a neurodivergent person or not—you're not alone. A lot of us do struggle with food, our relationship to food, and also body image as well. So, have a lot of self-compassion, kindness towards yourself, and grace if things feel hard.
If you have the capacity, get curious about your own relationship with food and your own sensory preferences. Understanding them can be very helpful in terms of finding self-compassion and also allowing yourself to eat in a way that works best for you and is best supportive of you.
Of course, if you need help, reach out. Margo would be happy to chat with anyone who wants to seek her services.
Connect with Margo White:
You can find Margo through her website, Whole Body Nutrition, on Instagram @margos_wholebodynutrition, and on her Facebook Page Whole Body Nutrition
Shop Margo’s resources on her website:
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