Season 7, Episode 2: Unschooling with Sari González and Becka Koritz
On this week’s episode we chat with Sari González and Becka Koritz – co-founders of Radical Learning – about unschooling and alternative models of education.
Sari and Becka are mums to neurodivergent unschoolers, youth rights advocates, and agile learning facilitators who challenge conventional education and parenting.
Through their business, Radical Learning, and their podcast, Radical Learning Talks, they support parents and educators in unlearning control-based approaches to education and embracing trust, consent, and youth agency - especially when supporting neurodivergent kids.
In this episode, we cover:
How Becka and Sari think about neurodivergence.
Becka and Sari’s paths to alternative education.
What’s the difference between homeschooling and unschooling?
Concepts in unschooling, including de-schooling, consent-based learning, and understanding how power manifests in mainstream ideas of teaching and learning.
How can we teach our kids if we aren’t teachers?
Navigating our inner ‘Mrs. Trunchbull’ and the internal work of de-schooling.
Neurodivergence and learning; honouring our unique talents and skills.
Unpacking the concept of ‘resilience’.
The Shift Retreat 2025 from Radical Learning
[00:02:03] How Becka and Sari think about neurodivergence:
Key Takeaways:
Becka sees neurodivergence as a recognition that all brains function differently and that diversity is essential for survival. She credits her son for opening her eyes to the beauty of neurodivergence and how every person is uniquely wired.
Sari shares that she longs for a future where the term ‘neurodivergence’ is unnecessary—where it’s simply understood that everyone has different needs and experiences. Just as plants and animals thrive in diverse ways, humans also require different conditions to flourish.
Both Becka and Sari emphasise that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to life. Understanding neurodivergence means accepting that no boxes can contain the full spectrum of human experience.
Michelle reflects on their perspectives, noting the balance between recognising each person’s individuality while also seeing them as part of a shared humanity. She expresses curiosity about how discussions around neurodivergence will evolve in the coming decades.
Sari agrees, seeing the conversation as an ongoing exploration—one that will continue to unfold as understanding deepens over time.
[00:05:09] Becka and Sari’s paths to alternative education
Key Takeaways:
Becka’s interest in alternative education began in childhood. Growing up in Sweden, she attended a Montessori school through the public system and only realised how different it was when she transitioned into mainstream secondary school. The rigid structure of traditional education felt limiting, sparking her curiosity about the school system.
Initially training as a teacher to reform the system from within, Becka found that change was impossible. After moving to Mexico and having a child, she knew she couldn’t place him in conventional education. Instead, she co-founded three alternative schools, with the third—Explora—built entirely on consent-based learning principles.
Sari’s path was shaped by her neurodivergent son. Despite living in a neighbourhood with a highly rated school, she immediately knew the system would not meet his needs. Even before having the language for it, she recognised his demand avoidance and trusted her intuition to seek a different path.
Her journey into alternative education began when she stumbled upon a group of kids playing freely during school hours. Learning they were part of an unschooling co-op, she became a parent in that community, later stepping into a leadership role.
Moving to Mexico brought Sari and Becka together, leading them to collaborate in creating alternative educational spaces. Now, Sari directs Explora Agile Learning Community, though her own son prefers a fully unschooled life—learning through living without formal structures.
“Honestly, today, I don’t even think so much about the learning piece, because I see so clearly that we learn all the time. I learn, he learns, and our life looks like we’re just living.”
[00:00:00] What’s the difference between homeschooling and unschooling? Plus, concepts in unschooling.
Key Takeaways:
Becka explains that unschooling differs from homeschooling because it removes the ‘adult agenda.’
While many homeschoolers recreate traditional school structures at home, unschooling allows young people to set their own direction, with adults adapting to their needs rather than the other way around.
This approach often works well for neurodivergent children.
Sari highlights that unschooling is deeply tied to power dynamics.
Traditional schooling relies on adults exerting control over children, whereas consent-based learning requires adults to check their power and avoid coercion.
Without the pressure to meet predetermined outcomes, learning becomes self-directed and free from power struggles.
De-schooling is an essential part of unschooling, involving the unlearning of ingrained beliefs about education, success, and productivity. Sari describes it as peeling back layers, questioning societal norms, and shifting perspectives on what learning should look like.
Becka shares that her now 19-year-old son has never followed a structured curriculum and has chosen not to validate his studies or attend university. In their household, learning happens naturally through living, exploring interests, and engaging in meaningful conversations rather than fitting into rigid academic categories.
Sari’s 10-year-old son thrives with some structure, preferring to plan his days in advance. His education revolves around his passions—skating, gaming, and the ocean.
Sari notes that unschooling challenges parents to confront societal fears about what children “should” be learning, making it a particularly empowering choice for neurodivergent families already questioning conventional norms.
[00:20:44] How can we teach our kids if we aren’t teachers?
Key Takeaways:
Sari challenges the idea that only trained teachers can educate children, emphasising that learning happens naturally through relationships. Unschooling prioritises connection over outsourcing education to professionals.
Becka questions the assumption that teaching automatically leads to learning.
As both a former student and teacher, she has seen firsthand that instruction doesn’t always translate to understanding.
Learning is an innate process—people naturally seek knowledge by exploring, asking questions, and using tools like Google or AI.
Rather than acting as an instructor, Becka sees her role as a transparent and authentic role model. Her son learns not through structured lessons but by witnessing how she navigates life’s challenges, demonstrating resilience, problem-solving, and personal growth.
Michelle reflects on how traditional education often dismisses young people’s passions in favour of predefined priorities, which can extinguish their enthusiasm and self-worth.
She encourages families to prioritise relationships over rigid expectations, especially for neurodivergent children, whose unique strengths are frequently overlooked.
Sari shares how her perspective on parenting has evolved through unschooling. Rather than focusing on instilling specific lessons or skills, she now asks, “How can I share my life with my child?” She sees learning as a process of living together, where experiences and relationships become the foundation of education.
[00:22:00] Navigating our inner ‘Mrs. Trunchbull’ and the internal work of de-schooling
Key Takeaways:
Sari highlights adultism as a key challenge in parenting and education, drawing parallels to ableism in the neurodivergent experience.
She emphasises that any time we feel a child should do something, it's an opportunity to question whether we're imposing our own agenda rather than recognising their autonomy.
Monique reflects on how adultism shapes traditional education and parenting, drawing on Matilda’s ‘Mrs. Trunchbull’ as a visceral example of authoritarian control. She notes that this rigid approach is often internalised, influencing how adults engage with children in school and beyond.
Michelle describes the process of confronting these ingrained beliefs as “popping a pimple”—bringing up the discomfort of recognising our own internalised control, fear, and rigidity so that healing can begin.
Becka reframes the conversation around power, stating that children don’t need to be given power—they already have it, but adults systematically take it away. She argues that children are one of the most discriminated groups, subjected to treatment we would never accept as adults.
Sari and Michelle explore how unschooling requires deep internal work, not just for children, but for parents reckoning with their own childhood experiences. Healing from internalised expectations, shame, and grief allows parents to embrace their children’s autonomy without fear.
[00:38:33] Neurodivergence and learning; honouring our unique talents and skills
Key takeaways:
Monique describes how neurodivergent people often thrive in subjects they’re passionate about while struggling immensely with topics that don’t interest them or that present learning barriers like dyslexia or dyscalculia.
She explains how traditional schooling forces students to engage in subjects they can’t process, creating distress and disengagement.
Sari reflects on how the school system labels struggling students as defiant or difficult when, in reality, the issue is often the environment, not the child.
Unschooling offers a path back to self-belonging by allowing children to follow their natural interests rather than forcing them to compartmentalise themselves to fit in.
Becka challenges the assumption that everyone needs to learn the same things, pointing out that adults lead vastly different lives with different skill requirements.
She questions why children can’t focus on their strengths and what brings them joy, particularly neurodivergent young people who naturally gravitate towards their talents.
Monique highlights how special interests are essential for many neurodivergent people, especially Autistic individuals.
She explains that she wouldn’t have been able to complete her psychology studies if it weren’t for her special interest and that forcing neurodivergent individuals into work or study they don’t care about is unsustainable.
Becka reinforces that children should be allowed to focus on what excites them, rather than conforming to an arbitrary standard of knowledge. She argues that fostering joy in learning leads to mastery and fulfilment, rather than disengagement and distress.
[00:48:00] Unpacking the concept of ‘resilience’
Key takeaways:
Becka challenges the idea that forced challenges build resilience, explaining that true resilience comes from pursuing meaningful goals.
She shares how both she and her son have tackled difficult tasks not because they were forced to, but because they were driven by passion and purpose.
Michelle debunks the myth that forcing kids into distressing situations builds resilience.
For neurodivergent children, enduring physically and emotionally overwhelming environments—like sitting at a desk despite sensory or motor challenges—doesn’t strengthen them. Instead, it drains their capacity to handle difficulties, leading to exhaustion and burnout.
Monique highlights how repeated distress in school leads to long-term harm, not resilience.
Many neurodivergent kids experience severe school anxiety, physical symptoms like migraines, and even burnout before adulthood.
She notes the cruelty of forcing children into traumatic school environments under the guise of preparing them for the future.
Sari questions why society is so focused on teaching kids to endure hardship when life already brings enough challenges on its own.
She points out that people on their deathbeds don’t regret not facing enough adversity—they regret not embracing joy and connection.
She argues that we should shift from preparing kids for struggle to supporting them in living fulfilling lives.
Michelle reiterates that true resilience comes from agency, not forced suffering.
When children repeatedly experience distress without the power to change their situation, they can develop ‘learned helplessness’—believing nothing they do can improve their circumstances.
This disempowerment follows them into adulthood, making it harder to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.
[00:59:27] The Shift Retreat from Radical Learning
Key takeaways:
The Shift Retreat as a transformative seven-day experience for parents, educators, and caregivers to unlearn limiting beliefs, reconnect with themselves, and explore new ways of relating to young people.
Through play, self-reflection, and collective learning, participants shift their mindset around education, community, and relationships.
The Shift fosters a sense of connection and compassion in a time of widespread fear and division.
Participants co-create a temporary community built on empathy rather than rigid binaries, often forming deep, lifelong friendships in the process.
The Shift also includes a Kids Camp, allowing young people to experience self-directed learning with facilitators who advocate for their autonomy. While parents engage in deschooling, children explore liberated learning in a supportive environment.
These experiences create lasting support networks for those navigating alternative education.
Michelle gives a shout-out to Marie, the podcast’s digital content creator, who attended The Shift with her family and found it profoundly transformative.
The retreat currently runs in the U.S., but Sari hints at the possibility of bringing it to Australia if there’s enough interest. Michelle encourages Australian listeners to reach out to Radical Learning and express their enthusiasm.
Connect with Sari and Becka:
Connect with Sari and Becka through their Radical Learning Talks podcast, their website, or their Instagram @radical_learning.
Extra Resources from Marie:
These books helped me in my family’s unschooling journey:
Unschooling To University: Relationships matter most in a world crammed with content by Judy Arnall
Homeschool Gone Wild: Inspired Learning Through Living by Karla Marie Williams
College Without High School: A Teenager’s Guide by Blake Boles
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson
Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah S. Richards, who also has an incredible podcast called Fare of the Free Child, which focuses on Black people, Native Indigenous people, and People of Color (BIPOC) families who practice unschooling. Akilah is who coined the word ’schoolishness’ and is an amazing human.
This TNDWP episode: Exceptional and Unusual Abilities in Neurodivergence.
Personal note: This episode highlighted so many aspects of my own school experience—and what I’d observed with my two ND kiddos—that it reaffirmed exactly why we chose unschooling.
Our experience in unschooling: Once the pressure of ‘school’ was removed, it felt like a weight had lifted in our home.
We reconnected with each other and began to restore not just our mental wellness, but our light, too, which had been dimmed (for each of us) by the constraints of the system and its timeline, which clashed with our interest-driven nervous systems.
Parents often worry, “If I take them out, will they fall behind? Will it be a problem if we want to return?” Every kid is different, of course, but I don’t think people realise just how slow the curriculum moves—or how much kids naturally learn just by living.
You can take, say, even a whole year out of the school system to breathe, reconnect as a family, and build your kiddo’s self-concept and spirit back up. It will be okay.
There’s this constant sense of urgency, this pressure to make the “right” choice. It creates the illusion that every decision is final. But it really doesn’t have to be.
None of your options have to be a lifelong commitment. You can try one path and change your mind if it doesn’t feel right. Just ask us—we’ve bounced in and out and back into the school system (with unschooling again on the horizon), and it’s okay. Really.
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