Season 6, Episode 12—Knowing Yourself with Clare Bowen
For our final episode of Season 6, we are thrilled to welcome Australian actor and vocalist Clare Bowen to the podcast to chat with us about her experiences as an Autistic and ADHD woman.
Clare has been in a number of wonderful films, series, and theatre productions both here in Australia and internationally, with her most recognisable role being Scarlett O’Connor in the American TV series, NASHVILLE. Clare is also a globally touring musician, and she currently makes music with her husband, Brandon Robert Young, as the duo – BOWEN YOUNG.
The soul mates split their time in a tear in the fabric of reality, between Nashville, Tennessee and Yuin Country, Australia.
This episode is a winding route through Clare’s experiences as a neurodivergent woman, from a childhood coloured by cancer treatment to working as an internationally acclaimed actor and musician, we cover a lot of ground!
Including:
What neurodivergence means to Clare.
Her path to discovering her neurodivergence.
Navigating the neurodivergent duality of having areas of extreme strength and gifts and other areas of significant challenge.
Understanding why her response to stress and trauma may be different to others.
Finding deep connection with others and the power of nourishing relationship.
What identification of her neurotype has meant for Clare.
Clare’s special interests in music and medicine, and role these interests have served for her throughout her life.
Clare’s message for others who may resonate with her story.
🎧 IMPORTANT: Just a quick content warning before we dive into our episode today. In this episode, we talk about childhood cancer, abusive and controlling relationships, and a violent home invasion. Some listeners may decide to skip this episode.
[00:01:20] Introduction
Key Takeaways:
This is the second time Clare has publicly spoken about being Autistic and having ADHD (AuDHD), highlighting her nervousness to come on the show but also her gratitude for receiving a diagnosis.
Clare’s first experience speaking about being neurodivergent was with the Philadelphia Eagles Autism Foundation. The Philadelphia Eagles are creating inclusive, accessible spaces for Autistic fans, recognising that enjoyment doesn’t have to mean enduring overwhelming sensory experiences.
Clare expressed her appreciation for The Neurodivergent Woman Podcast, particularly the “Being Childfree” episode, and feels honoured to be part of the conversation.
The conversation touches on Clare’s career, with Monique fangirling over her roles in the U.S. series Nashville and Australia’s iconic Home and Away—noting that “anyone who’s been on Home and Away in Australia is like Australian royalty”—while Clare shares her hopes of bringing the Nashville Reunion Tour to Australia.
[00:06:32] What neurodivergence means to Clare + her path to discovering her neurodivergence
Key Takeaways:
For Clare, neurodivergence means freedom. It allows her to embrace who she is, free from the idea that there’s something “wrong” with her or her brain.
Growing up with childhood cancer meant her neurodivergence was overlooked, as physical health took priority. Signs were often dismissed as a result of trauma, lack of socialisation, or medical side effects.
Knowing herself through diagnosis reframed years of misunderstanding and self-doubt, offering clarity and self-compassion. It’s about recognising, “I’m not broken; I’m just made differently.”
Clare’s provider explained that her ADHD likely enabled her to function despite her high level of Autistic traits—balancing challenges with the drive and adaptability to navigate complex situations like Hollywood and travel.
Clare highlighted how misconceptions around Autism—like vaccines “causing” it—are harmful, and Michelle chimes in by explicitly stating that such claims have been disproven. For Clare, it’s clear that medicine, often driven by problem-solving minds, has likely benefited from Autistic people—not the other way around.
“It means I’m allowed to be me. It means that I’m not stupid. It means that I’m not some of the things that I got called at school... All of these things that I thought maybe was something wrong with me, that chemo had fried my brain, and it didn’t. I’m just made differently. It’s a different operating system, and I’m so grateful.”
[00:22:36] Navigating the neurodivergent duality of having areas of extreme strength and gifts and other areas of significant challenge
Key Takeaways:
Clare shares the duality of being hyperlexic (i.e. having highly advanced reading skill) and dyscalculic (i.e. struggling with maths, time, and numerical concepts), highlighting the “spiky profile” of neurodivergence.
Neurodivergent individuals often experience extremes—profound abilities in some areas and substantial struggles in others—which can confuse or surprise neurotypical people and systems.
Neurotypical people tend to have a more evenly spread skill profile, but neurodivergent people must constantly balance their “spiky” abilities and challenges, which can fluctuate depending on the situation.
Clare describes sensory extremes: she can manage chaotic film sets with explosions and noise, yet struggles in loud, crowded rooms where conversations overwhelm her focus. It’s a constant act of adapting and balancing.
Clare shares that being open about her diagnosis on a film set led to understanding and practical accommodations, like having wardrobe choices that met her sensory needs. The experience reinforced how meeting people’s unique needs can create environments where they thrive, resulting in work that feels authentic and impactful.
[00:00:00] Understanding why her response to stress and trauma may be different to others.
Key Takeaways:
Clare shares how a traumatic home invasion highlighted differences in how she and her neurotypical husband processed the event. While he experienced ongoing fear and trauma responses, Clare shut down entirely—pulling away and going “blank” as a way of managing emotional overload.
Her diagnosis brought clarity and validation, with a provider explaining that her shutdown response was her brain protecting itself—refusing to process the experience until she was ready. Knowing this helped her to accept her response as okay.
Clare reflects on societal expectations for artists to remain constantly present and accessible. In her case, pulling back—especially from social media—was necessary for healing and understanding herself.
This experience reinforces how neurodivergence influences processing at a fundamental level. It’s not just about strengths or challenges in daily life but also about how someone absorbs, reacts to, and heals from trauma or stress.
Clare’s journey through university underscored her struggles with social understanding, often being misunderstood or belittled. Despite this, her perseverance and differences led her to Nashville, where what once felt “wrong” about her was valued and celebrated.
[00:41:00] Finding deep connection with others and the power of nourishing relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Clare reflects on how moving to Nashville and working in the music industry brought her connection and acceptance. She describes people recognising her as “odd” but in a kind, welcoming way, which felt different from her earlier experiences.
Meeting her husband, Brandon, was life-changing. His empathy, kindness, and calming presence brought Clare a sense of safety she hadn’t experienced before, helping her feel less afraid and more secure.
Clare recounts surviving a traumatic experience with a stalker, where her Autistic brain’s literal and precise memory allowed her to identify gaslighting and protect herself in a dangerous situation.
Michelle jokingly describes this as the Autistic brain’s “UNO reverse card”—a strength that turned Clare’s exacting memory into a life-saving tool.
[00:49:13] What identification of her neurotype has meant for Clare
Key takeaways:
Clare reflects on how identifying as Autistic and having ADHD has allowed her to look back on her life with clarity and self-forgiveness. It explains why she struggled in certain ways but also why she was able to survive.
Survivor’s guilt from childhood cancer left Clare believing she only deserved “just breathing” because others hadn’t survived. This led to patterns of giving too much, allowing harmful people into her life, and allowing people to deplete her.
Her supportive and “eclectic” family, including her godparents and husband Brandon, gave Clare the foundation to explore ways to improve her life and relationships while learning to be kinder to herself.
Clare describes performing on stage as an incredible honour. Sharing stories through music allows her to connect with people who feel like they don’t fit or are misunderstood. Her message to them: “You don’t have to do it by yourself. It’s okay.”
She recognises that part of what makes her able to reach people—through music and storytelling—is “the way I was made.” Clare’s greatest privilege is standing on stage and helping others feel seen, understood, and not alone.
“You don’t get higher stakes than life and death—but the reason the stakes have been so high throughout my life is because of its beginnings and because I didn’t realise that I deserved to be treated like a human being. Then, at the same time, not understanding most other human beings—that’s a pretty scary combination.”
[01:01:19] Clare’s special interests in music and medicine, and role these interests have served for her throughout her life.
Key takeaways:
Music has been a lifelong special interest for Clare, serving as a universal language that allowed her to connect with others when words or interactions felt out of reach. Growing up in hospital, music and storytelling became an outlet and a way to participate in her life.
Medicine—particularly understanding its history and what was happening to her body—became another special interest. This knowledge empowered Clare during her childhood treatment and helped her make sense of her experiences.
Clare shares how her neurodivergence enabled her to stay calm in high-stress situations, like being a medic on a cattle ranch or responding to an accident. While others panicked, her ability to focus and act was a strength—even when misunderstood by others.
Clare reflects on how others have commented on her ability to stay calm in crisis, sometimes misunderstanding it as ‘odd’ or ‘cold.’ She emphasises that these kinds of abilities—while seen as unusual—are valid and valuable, especially in high-pressure situations.
Clare acknowledges the power of inclusive spaces—like this podcast—that allow people to feel seen and understood, realising that what makes them “different” is valuable and not something to hide.
[01:11:09] Clare’s message for others who may resonate with her story
Key takeaways:
Clare encourages those who feel “different” or wonder if they may be Autistic or have ADHD to pursue a diagnosis or gather as much information as they can about themselves. While acknowledging the challenges, she shares that understanding her neurotype has been one of the most empowering things she’s ever done.
Clare notes that pursuing a diagnosis is a privilege, particularly in places like America where healthcare is difficult to access, but shares that it was one of the most empowering things she’s ever done.
Finding trusted people—no matter how small that circle is—is crucial. Clare emphasises that it’s okay to feel different, to feel like an alien, or to take “eccentric” as a compliment. Being different doesn’t mean you’re wrong or less than.
Clare shares how being Autistic has been both a strength and a challenge. It has enabled her to achieve incredible things but has also put her in dangerous situations, often because she didn’t recognise the risks—especially with people.
She stresses the importance of safe spaces—places to talk, exist, and grow to your highest happiness and potential. Neurodivergent individuals can find safety and understanding both within their community and with neurotypical allies, as Clare has experienced with her husband.
Clare hopes her story helps others forgive themselves for what they’ve misunderstood about themselves and realise they’re not alone. There are safe spaces, people who understand, and ways to live fully as the person you’re meant to be.
Connect with Clare Bowen:
You can find Clare Bowen on her website, clarebowenofficial.com
All over Spotify, like right here (Do check out Little By Little, Black Roses, and Aurora.)
@clarembee and @bowenyoungofficial on Instagram
Enjoyed the episode and want to support us further? Join our Patreon community!
If you enjoyed this episode and want to support us further, you can do so by subscribing to our Patreon to become part of our Patreon community.
You can buy us a coffee for $5 per month or a wine for $10 per month (AUD).
What’s included?
All of our Patreon subscribers receive access to a backlog of exclusive content, to basic text transcripts from season four onwards, and to a monthly live Zoom hangout with us and our Patreon community.
Our Zoom hangouts are a place to ask questions, chat about your experiences, and connect with other neurodivergent women.
Patreon's shouting us to a monthly wine, get all that, plus one exclusive content post per month.
Click here to check out our Patreon page.
We really appreciate your support as we aim to make quality mental health information accessible to everyone.
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Neurodivergent Woman podcast.
Bookmark this episode by Pinning the graphic below + follow us on Pinterest for more.
